Wipeout!

When you’re mere moments away from smashing your pride and various squishy body parts into amorphous bits, there’s usually that brief reflective moment when time seems to unwind completely. You have a chance to soak it all in—everything slows and you’re able to take in every embarrassing detail of your untimely demise with perfect lucidity. I’ve experienced that moment, typically referred to as the “Oh, S*@t” moment, several times in my life. They mostly occurred during surfing wipeouts (save for one instance of a wicked skateboard accident that resulted in a chipped front tooth and a terrible family photo) that resulted in something painful occurring, either to my pride or to said various squishy body parts. In fact, I could tell you in perfect detail what happened during each wipeout, what mistake I made, or what went wrong with the board (typically it’s the board’s fault, not mine *cough*). I could also tell you what crossed my mind too: it was usually something along the lines of, “WHY?! WHY ME?! THE PAIN—.“ Yeah, something like that.

Surfers and other action sports enthusiasts have similar retrospective moments; it generally comes with the territory (especially since the territory is full of asphalt, speeding cars, and the occasional runaway surfboard). Twiggy Barker from South Africa had his recently at Jaws: Surfline featured Twiggy in their “Greatest Wipeouts of All Times” video. He gives a full account of the violent wipeout, which, for the record, would probably have crushed an ordinary man.

The wipeouts may be brutal, but ultimately, they’re worth it. They test us, sure, but they also reaffirm why we enjoy our sports—for the sheer rush of skirting danger and reveling in gallons of adrenaline. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

Paddle Out for Sean Collins

On January 8th, hundreds of people gathered at the Huntington Pier for a “Paddle Out” memorial in honor of the late Sean Collins, who passed away on December 26th.

Visit surfline.com to see photos of the event.

Paddle Out" memorial in honor of Sean Collins

"Paddle Out" memorial in honor of Sean Collins

>Hang in there, Leonidas

According to Surfermag.com, actor Gerard Butler found out firsthand what it feels like to take a big-wave set on the head. The Scottish-born actor suffered a two-wave hold down at Maverick’s this past Sunday while shooting scenes for his upcoming surf film, Of Men and Mavericks, which covers the life of the late Jay Moriarty. Butler recently picked up surfing for the film, as he will be playing the role of Moriarty’s coach, Rick “Frosty” Hesson.

According to the San Jose Mercury news, the hold down occurred while Butler was shooting a scene and a 15-foot sneaker set washed through the lineup. At the time, several big-wave surfers (including Pete Mel and Zack Wormhourdt) were working with Butler in the water. According to Wormhoudt, they had taken a conservative line while paddling out and that Butler had done everything correctly and within reason.

“We took like four or five pretty big waves on the head. Basically there’s nothing you can do,” said Wormhoudt.

After the hold down, Butler was taken to a nearby hospital for observation, but is reportedly in good health.

Check back for more info.

Pete Mel with Gerard Butler

Pete Mel with Gerard Butler

>Quik Pro NY 2012 Canceled

The Quik Pro NY 2012 has been officially canceled. Dave Prodan, ASP International Spokesman, stated in a press release that: “It is unfortunate that we announce the cancellation of the 2012 Quiksilver Pro New York. The 2011 installment was a fantastic event with excellent waves, tremendous local support and some of the best surfing we enjoyed all season. That said, we understand the factors leading to Quiksilver’s withdrawal of the New York event from the 2012 schedule.”

Reasons for the cancellation have not been offered, but Rob Colby, President of Quiksilver America, stated “Quiksilver is still very much committed to the ASP and the professional surfing tour in 2012 with the Quiksilver Pro Gold Coast and the Quiksilver Pro France.”

Colby added that the 2011 event was “a huge success for the surfers and fans with great conditions and incredible support from New Yorkers.” The event boasted “flawless” beachbreak surf last September, and was Owen Wright’s first WT contest victory (despite Kelly’s best efforts).

The event might have just been too expensive to organize. Plus, New York is not the most consistent surf destination. Hopefully, a more tropical locale (maybe Fiji?) will be chosen for the next big Quik Pro 2012 contest.

Find out more on surfline.com.

Quik Pro NY 2011

Quik Pro NY 2011

Learn how to surf better!

I’ve been surfing now for… oh, maybe seven or eight years. Have I improved much since I started? You bet your ass I have. I remember when I started out at First Point — yep, I learned how to surf at one of the most crowded beaches in the world — I remember it took a great deal of effort just to pull a bottom turn on the wave. Now, I’m actually able to pull tricks — nothing crazy, of course, but I can pull a few new school tricks. Not like I’m bragging or anything…

But, with all that said, there’s always room for improvement. Some of my sessions have a tendency to be better than others, and that’s usually because I’ve done something minor that throws off my surfing: my knees weren’t bent properly, I didn’t hop up quick enough, a Great White got in my way (that last one was a joke, but honestly: wouldn’t it be cool to surf a shark? A bit off topic, sorry!). The list goes on and on.

Anyway, I came across this great article from Surfer: it’s a list of simple suggestion from surfer Brett Simpson on how to quickly improve your surfing. Most of the suggestions he has are pretty basic, but honestly really helpful. I know the tip on using my hips more (not dirty at all) is definitely a great idea. Well, enjoy!

 Brett Simpson (USA).  Freesurfing at Boneyards

Brett Simpson (USA). Freesurfing at Boneyards

Surfing the Web

This week in surfing was a busy one indeed: sharks were nagging the pros at Ocean Beach, Kelly claimed his 11th World Title (and lost it due to the ASP’s inability to add) and Chelsea Williams won the Swatch Girls Pro China contest in Hainan — which was the first ASP event to ever be held in the good ol’ PRC. Who knew the Chinese would love surfing so much? I thought the only activities they liked were marching in unison, invading innocent countries and working 22-hour shifts in ammunition factories. But I guess I’m a little close-minded. Anyway, here’s what I was able to dig up during my weekly Web surf session:

Oh yes… we all remember you Mr.Miko. You’re nothing but a simple (albeit possibly stoned) surfer dude, who’s overly enthusiastic about surfing his home break. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? And yes… I will admit, your brief interview made watching Fox News actually bearable. So, good for you! Anyway, Miko has gained quite an Internet following, which earned him a spot on the Tosh.O show. I wasn’t really feeling the surfing jokes (the Bethany Hamilton one kinda crossed the line), but the Point Break reference was funny.

 

Hottest Girls in Surfing

Hottest Girls in Surfing

Pretty girls that can surf?! Quoi? Que? What in the name of Fraggle Rock is going on?!

Yes, it’s true. Some of the best female surfers in the world also happen to be quite attractive, and here’s the list of the Top 10 hottest girls in surfing. Oh, and by the way, there is nothing sexist about judging professional female athletes by their outward appearances.*

*Since I can’t actually defend this statement with sound reasoning, please accept my apology for being a chauvinistic pig. Here’s a picture of a bear on a unicycle. 

 

 

Out of Place is a great documentary about the surfing scene in Cleveland, Ohio. Yes… I did just say “the surfing scene in Cleveland, Ohio.” In fact, I will be going to Cleveland next week to meet the film’s director, Scott Ditzenberger. I’ll make sure to keep you posted.

Doh!

Doh!

All I can say is one word: frustration. Come on ASP, just give him the World title already! Defying Kelly Slater is like trying to punch God in the face: it’ll never happen!

 

Peter, then and now.

Peter, then and now.

This is an interesting one: just this week the Sydney Morning Herald did a video feature on “Westerly Windina,” formerly known as World Surfing Champion Peter Drouyn. Here’s the link. Honestly, he/she/it refers to herself/himself/itself a lot in the third person and it can be a bit distracting, but it’s a unique story.

 

Honestly, there’s never a tattooed Polynesian with a harpoon and a confusing name when you actually need one. Am I right, or what?

 

Heidi the German Shepherd learns to surf

Heidi the German Shepherd learns to surf

Ok, so apparently the Barkley Pet Hotel in Westlake, California is now offering surf lessons for its guests… er, people’s pets. Cool stuff, right? Yep, we Angelenos totally have our priorities in order. Global warming? Fuck that, I’m paying someone to teach my dog how to surf!

Happy Halloween!

To all of you surfing ghouls out there, I wish you a horrifically happy Halloween. May the maleficent villains of the slasher flicks of yore — Freddy, Jason, and of course, Leatherface — bestow upon you a terrible and bloody end with a thousand rusty garden implements. That… or I hope you get tons of candy. Muhahaha! (evil laugh)

Halloween is my favorite time of year, and I usually like to get the festivities started with a John Carpenter flick; right now, I’m trying to decide between The Thing and the original Halloween (Michael Myers… or Kurt Russell with a flamethrower? Decisions, decisions…

Anyway, I hope you have a great Halloween, and with that, I leave you with a costumed surf contest that took place yesterday in Newport.

Here’s my favorite image:

It's Duffman! And he's surfing! Oh yeah!

It's Duffman! And he's surfing! Oh yeah!

Enjoy!

Surfing the Web

It’s been an interesting week in the surfing world: Adriano De Souzo won the Rip Curl Pro Portugal (and subsequently beat out Kelly Slater — no minor feat, indeed), oil continues to leak from the wrecked tanker in New Zealand, and pros Ralph Bruhwiler and Peter Devries scored epic overhead barrels near — of all places — Vancouver Island (check out the video here!).

Exciting stuff, right? Well, after browsing Surfer’s This Week in Review, I was able to track down some more entertaining surf news bits you. Check it out:


Well, let’s get the ball rolling with a little shark surfing, shall we? Last week, a Great White knocked Oregon surfer Doug Niblack off his board while he was surfing near Seaside. Somehow, while he was trying to get back to shore, he ended up on the shark’s back. He briefly “stood” on it for a moment, and then — justifiably — swam quickly back to shore. Here’s an animated video of the event. On a side note, the video kind of reminds me of the whole Charlie Sheen rampage news clip from Taiwan… minus the cocaine and cartoon noises, of course.

Surfer attacked by 10-12 foot Great White off Oregon

Surfer attacked by 10-12 foot Great White off Oregon

Oregon has to be a popular hang spot for sharks, because on Thursday another Oregonian (how do you pronounce that?) had a run in with a curious Great White. Unfortunately, for this surfer, he didn’t get to ride the supposed 10-to 15-foot shark… but in all honesty, I think he’s OK with that.


Yes, Alana Blanchard and Erica Hosseini are very pretty. That’s kind of stating the obvious. Nevertheless, a lot of folks might not know that they also rip too. But seriously, why don’t I ever see any chick surfers wearing those kinds of swimsuits out in the line up? This morning, I got to surf next to an old man who looked like Grizzly Adams. Totally unfair.

Surfing Bear!

Surfing Bear!

Yeah… I don’t really know why I picked this last one. I guess the thought of a surfing bear just kinda tickles me. Although on second thought, a surfing bear would be very terrifying. Honestly, we really don’t need any more critters out in the water that enjoy a casual mauling or two. Nope, thank you very much.

Anyway, enjoy!

The Undead Surf!

Zombies are pretty prolific these days. You can’t watch TV or pick up a book without stumbling upon a rotting undead ghoul. And you know what? It’s utterly fantastic. I’m not sure what it is I like so much about the whole zombie thing; maybe it’s the survivalist aspect, or the idea of exploring an apocalyptic society (no Road Warrior getup for me, thank you very much), but whatever it is… I really find the current zombie trend really entertaining.

So, after watching a rousing episode of The Walking Dead — which one again reaffirmed my belief that there can never be too much gore on television — I decided to check the Web to see if the zombie epidemic had spread to the surfing community. Turns out… it has.

Here’s what I found:

Zombie Surf Rock

These boys are from the rather appropriately named Surf Zombies. “High Rip” isn’t half bad, and the subtle double meaning behind the title is actually kind of funny. Get it? Rip vs. RIP? Yeah… it took me most of the night to figure that out.

Zombies, Oahu
Apparently, there’s actually a surf spot called zombies. It’s on Oahu, near Honolulu. According to this site, the spot is near a military base. Good luck trying to sneak into that line up; Uncle Sam might arrest you for trespassing, and after the trial, he’d probably throw you into some camp where they’d conduct secret experiments on you and turn you into a real zombie. Or he might ship you off to Guantanamo Bay. Either one would really suck.

Undead Surfer
This is my personal favorite: it’s a flash game where you’re a surfing zombie… or a zombie surfer. Either one works I guess. Your character is missing an arm though, so I’m not sure how you’re actually able to catch any waves. By the way, would a shark eat a zombie? And by eating said zombie, would that shark turn into a zombie shark? Oh my God… why hasn’t anyone made a movie about this yet?! It could be the next Sharktopus!

Anyway, enjoy the zombie links. And remember… always aim for the head!