Category Archives: cool stuff

Zombies + Surfing = LA in a nutshell

LA is unabashedly insane.

A statement like that might be deemed derogatory, but honestly, I see it as something positive. LA is complicated; it’s culture and history (yes, it has culture and history) blends the Old West, the roaring 20s and the glitz and glamour of Hollywood into a giant smorgasbord of eccentricity and excitement. Okay sure, the traffic can be a living nightmare (I’d say roughly equivalent to being forced to listen to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” while munching on a glass a bottle), but truthfully, it’s never a boring place.

The same holds true for the surf scene in LA too—it’s a vibrant, hectic and altogether chaotic scene, emblematic of all of the city’s wonderful (and terrifying) characteristics. I believe that fact wholeheartedly, and I’ve yet to encounter another surf scene like it.

Artist Damian Fulton draws his inspiration for his art from the unique nature of LA’s surf scene, and the result is something that’s truly a step above your standard “beach and pretty wave” surf painting.  His art is a lovely ode to fantasy, surfing and Los Angeles; it features sci-fi themes, gun-toting monsters, knockout pin-up girls, and, my personal favorite, the omnipresent smoke stacks of El Porto. Oh, and did I mention that he has a surf painting titled “Dawn Patrol” that portrays surfers as mindless, shambling zombies? It’s like he reached into my soul and pulled out my innermost wishes and dreams….

The art is wonderful, and embodies every twisted noir aspect of LA, while also retaining a deep appreciation for surf culture—it’s fantastically brilliant stuff. I’ve posted a few of his paintings below. Hope you enjoy them!

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>Are you afraid of the dark?

When was the last time you had a night surf session?

My first—and, for the time being, my last—night session was at El Porto during my freshman year of college. I paddled out right after class in the late afternoon, and I will still out in the water when the sun was going down. Now, because I was a naïve freshman, striving to prove my abilities as a manly surfer, I decided to stay out well after sunset. The surf was only about shoulder-high and there was light from the nearby power plant, so I figured it wouldn’t be too rough. Contrary to my well thought out plan, it turned out to be a very bad idea.

I forgot (which, in retrospect, was quite an oversight) that I have poor night vision. Like really, really bad. As in, if a cop pulls me over at night and I’m not wearing my wearing my contacts or glasses, I’m in big trouble (i.e. spending a night with “Bendover” down at the local LADP jail). And, of course, I didn’t have my glasses or contacts. As you can tell, I’m not really one for planning ahead. After several painful wipeouts, I paddled back in.

Dark and stormy night: 1
Stefan: 0

Anyway, check out this night surf vid. I don’t remember the stars looking like that when I paddled out, but then again, I was nearly blind and I was surfing next to a power plant. So, I guess that kind of explains that. Enjoy!

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<5 Surf Spots in So Cal you’ll never surf

How many surf spots are there in So Cal?

Hundreds? Thousands? 100 Billion? I suck at math, so for the sake of brevity, let’s just guesstimate that number at around “a lot.”

Anyway, so I was little aggravated when I overheard some surfer at a party (yes, I was bored, so I listened in to his conversation… don’t judge) brag to this unfortunately naïve girl that he had surfed most of the surf spots in So Cal. Hmm… and the word of the day is: LIAR!

No, there is no way, that he (nor any other surfer on earth) has surfed every surf spot in Southern California. It’s impossible! Even if Kelly Slater was granted the powers of the Lord Almighty (and honestly, it could happen… he’s won 11 world titles), I don’t even think he’d be able to do it. You know why?

Because there are tons of So Cal breaks that most people just don’t surf. Yes, there are waves at said breaks, but the majority of So Cal surfers (save for a few certifiable lunatics) don’t ever go near them. Oh, and for good reasons too.

So, on that note, here are five surf spots in Southern California that most surfers will never, ever surf.

5) Shit Pipe (near LAX)

Shit Pipe

Shit Pipe

The name says it all. This little gem is next to the Hyperion Water Treatment Plant—so yes, if you surf this spot you’re surfing in the collective waste of the entire city of Los Angeles. Do you remember the guy in Robocop that crashed his van into the tank of toxic goo and turned into a melting, mutant rat/fish monster? Well, I’m not saying that’s exactly what will happen if you paddle out here… but let’s just say no amount of Purell could ever disinfect you. To make matters worse, the take off spot at Shit Pipe is actually on top of, well, the shit pipe. The peak breaks on the Hyperion sewer pipe, which is often partly exposed during low tide—its barnacle-covered, rusty exterior makes for a rather painful wipe out. Okay, the surf can occasionally get good here, and on a positive note, since you’re so close to LAX, you can watch planes take off. Plus, the noise from the jets should be enough to distract you from the fact that your wetsuit is probably melting off.

4) Lunada Bay (Palos Verdes)

Lunada bay

Lunada bay

Lunada Bay is nasty. Not in a Shit Pipe sort of way mind you, but more so in an assault-and-battery-maximum-prison sort of way. You see… Luanda bay is LA’s only true big wave surf spot. Mr. Greg Noll himself swears that he’s seen Lunada break at a legitimate, Hawaiian-style 20 feet. Sounds incredible, right? Yeah, it’s truly incredible… and that’s why the so-called “Bay Boys” gang has sworn to keep all non-local surfers out. Trying to sneak into Lunada for a quick session is like trying to sneak past a pack of sleeping Irish Wolfhounds while wearing pants made from bacon and beef tartar—no matter what you do, you’re going to get your ass ripped to shreds. Things have kind of calmed down a bit since a number of the Bay Boys were slapped with assault charges back in the 90s, but localism is still alive and well at Lunada Bay. The wave is also kinda tricky too; back in the 1960s, a freighter named The Dominator ran aground here. The surf was so gnarly, that the crew had no choice but to abandon ship. Several barges were sent to retrieve the ship’s cargo, but they also sank. The ship can still be seen to this day, lying in rusty pieces, abandoned like the hopes of all non-locals who have fallen victim to the ill wills of the infamous Bay Boys. Basically, unless you’re looking for a Castaway/Goodfellas sort of experience, stay away from Lunada Bay.

The Dominator

The Dominator

3) The Wedge (Newport Beach)

The Wedge

The Wedge

If the Wedge were a person, it’d probably be a psychopathic murder with a penchant for snapping people in half. The Wedge breaks off of the west jetty of the Corona del Mar Harbor, and it’s actually a combination of two waves. The jetty is angled in such a way that it has the ability to refract large south swells into a cross-peak that churns out extremely powerful (and dangerous) doubled-up waves. A wave can start out as a 2-foot, knee-slapper at the end of they jetty, and can remarkably be transformed into a 15-foot monstrosity with the power of cleaving boards, people and egos in twain. Only a handful of people surf the Wedge on a regular basis (but they’re usually pros that are borderline certifiable). Moreover, here’s a memorable quote from Surfer Magazine’s Guide to Southern California Surf Spots: “Wedge is definitely a Quentin Tarantino kind of place. For example: the Winnebago Day. A thief was chased to the beach in a stolen Winnebago. The RV bogged in the sand and the thief was killed in a gunfight with the cops. Years ago, a fisherman was walking on the jetty and was killed by lightning. There was a suicide by nail gun some time ago…. The last suicide was a young guy in choir robes who draped himself in chains one predawn morning, walked into the surf, and drowned.”

2) Vandenberg Air Force Base (north of Point Conception)

One of the few pics of Vandenberg AFB

One of the few pics of Vandenberg AFB

Have you ever wondered what the inside of Guantanamo Bay looks like? Curious to see how’d you look in orange fatigues? Well, just try surfing at VAFB, and you’ll be shipped over to GITMO faster than you can say, “cavity search.” Surfer Mag noted that the government wouldn’t even allow Kenneth Adelman to photograph the surf in the area for his www.californiacoastline.org project, so no one but the military knows what the waves are like at VAFB. Other So Cal military bases, like Pt. Mugu and Camp Pendleton, have been surfed before, but this particular base has remained completely off-limits. On a side note, the base actually has its own $3.2 billion shuttle launch pad. I can see it now: SURFERS IN SPACE! Eat your heart out, Mel Brooks.

1) Cortes Bank (115 miles west of San Diego)

Cortes Bank

Cortes Bank

What was once a navigational hazard is now one of the most famous big-wave surf spots in the world. Ships have been avoiding Cortes Bank for centuries—Spanish explorers wrecked a few ships here, and in 1985, the skipper of the aircraft carrier the USS Enterprise lost his command when he accidentally hit reef. It can easily hit 80 feet here, and only world-class big-waves surfers (like Mike Parsons or Peter Mel) are skilled enough to handles the waves at Cortes Bank. Furthermore, it’s one of the few spots on the planet that’s capable of producing the highly coveted (but so far elusive) 100-foot wave. With all that said, the only way to get to Cortes Bank is via boat or helicopter, and wiping out means swimming with the fishes—as in big, toothy and very hungry fishes. Only a small handful of surfers have ever surfed Cortes Bank.

So there you have it, five So Cal surf spots that most surfers will never surf in their lifetime. I made my point, and now I desperately want to surf each one of these spots. Oops. Who wants to come with me? Anyone?

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Yes… there’s Wi-Fi in Mexico

I finally have an Internet connection here in Mexico! Yay! Oh, I felt like I was isolated from the rest of the world; cast off on a desert island with no connections to the civilized world. Well, that’s a bit extreme… but once you don’t have the Web for a few days, you begin to notice just how much it’s a part of your daily life. For instance, I needed to look up a word in Spanish—I was trying to say “browsing,” because saying “solamente buscamos” just got me some funny looks—but I couldn’t use the Web on my phone (no data roaming… damn!). My comp was out of action too, so I had to actually rely on my “interpersonal communication” skills to save the day… in other words, I played charades.

Anyway, I’m in Guadalajara for the Pan American games, which is sort of like the Olympics for the Americas (i.e. everybody within North and South America gets to take part in all sorts of athletic competitions… sorry Europe, you’re not invited). The events have been great, and I’m taking lots of pictures (which I’ll post soon). I’m also on the lookout for a few surf and skate shops, so I’ll keep you posted on that too.

So for the time being, here’s a few cool surf links.

Bruce Iron’s wicked wipeout at Teahupoo

Bruce Iron's Wipeout

Bruce Iron's Wipeout

Ocean Beach has been selected for the Rip Curl Pro Search contest. This will be the first big surf contest in SF in years.

Rip Curl Pro Search SF

Rip Curl Pro Search SF

First-ever ASP event in China! Swatch Girls Pro China, the second and last stop in the Women’s Longboard World Tour.

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How to paddle into big surf

Every surfer dreams about riding big waves. Just the thought of roaring down a 20-foot massive mountain of water is enough to make any surfer mad with sheer excitement. But unfortunately, riding big waves—as any surfer can tell you—is not an easy feat. It takes tremendous skill and dedication, as well as years of intense training. It also doesn’t hurt to be a tad bit insane (kind of a given, right?), but that’s a separate issue entirely.

Anyway, big wave charger Kohl Christensen offered some helpful advice for all aspiring big wave surfers in the latest issue of Surfer. Here’s what he had to say:

The night before a big swell there’s a lot of anxiety building up inside me. The anxiety I get from thinking about the surf is always worse than actually seeing it first hand. Well, almost always. Everyone gets nervous. That’s just part of it. The trick is keeping that emotion in check and turning it into focus.

Surfing big waves isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. But I’d definitely say that there’s a connection or thread between all of us. Big-wave surfing requires you to work, train, and really want it. But at the end of the day, it’s something you’re almost born with. There’s something in you that differentiates you from the rest of the crew. You either have it or you don’t. But a lot of the time, you’re really not gonna know if you have it or not until you get close to it.

What kind of board you’re riding in big surf really depends on the wave. If you want to use Waimea as an example, I normally ride a 10’0″ out there when it gets to be about 20 feet. You really want to ride a board with a lot of float. Nothing too thin. Most of all, you want to be able to catch the wave early.

It feels like you’re paddling down a hill. You’ll always want to take two or three extra strokes to get into the wave. That’s crucial. There’s gonna be a lot of water, and sometimes a lot of wind, so you want to make sure you’re really in the wave before you stand up. Some days, the waves themselves will generate wind. Basically, when you feel like you’re paddling into the wave and you’re ready to stand up, keep paddling. It’s something everyone figures out the hard way.

It’s all about drawing your line early. As soon as you stand up, you want to pick your line. That’s pretty crucial. Unless you’re Ross Williams or Slater, you’re not going to be looking to get barreled. So find your line early. And most of all, don’t lean too far forward. You really don’t want to pearl on a 20-footer.

If you’d like to read the rest, check out this link: http://www.surfermag.com/blogs/how-to-paddle-into-big-surf-with-kohl-christensen/

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Surfing the Web: Steampunk Snowboard

Everyone has their own nerdy cross to bear. Mine (at least one that I will willingly admit to) is that I really, really like steampunk. For those of you who are unaware of what steampunk is (for shame!), I’ll explain it:

Steampunk is a literary sub-genre of science fiction that involves alternative history plots and anachronistic technologies. Steampunk narratives usually take place in locales during the late 1800′s, like Victorian England. Modern technologies like cars or computers exist, but they’re designed like the Victorians would have imagined them — they run off steam and look like something out of Jules Verne novel.

Anyway, nerds around the world have created all sorts of steampunk gizmos, costumes and fan art. Check out the gallery below for some cool examples. Personal favorite is the Abraham Lincoln with a minigun for an arm (because honestly, why not?). John Wilkes Booth probably would’ve pooped his Pampers if Lincoln had been packing that much heat that night at Ford’s Theater. Or he would’ve attached a steam-powered rocket launcher to his shoulder and battled Lincoln in the ultimate steampunk showdown. Why doesn’t the History Channel try to recreate that fight? Historical accuracy is boring anyway.

Well, for today’s Surfing the Web I decided to try to see if anyone had created a steampunk-themed surfboard, but alas, I wasn’t able to find anything.

But, what I did find was a link to a DIY blog on: “How to build a steampunk snowboard.” It’s not quite surfing, but it’s still pretty fricken sweet. Check out the blog to learn more.

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Cowboys and surfing

Historic reverie is something that often plagues my consistently distracted brain. Rarely is it something that is truly academic or note worthy, as most of the time it usually stems from some delusional alternative history fantasy (i.e. if the Russians had made it to the moon before the U.S., would they have turned it into a giant evil space station like the Death Star?)*

However, sometimes an occasional golden nugget pops out during these mind trips, which was the case (at least in my opinion) when I began to contemplate what Malibu must’ve been like 100 years ago.

Amazingly, Malibu was mostly private ranch land in the era. PCH was non-existent, there weren’t any houses, and cowboys roamed about doing what cowboys do best — drinking, shooting, and… well, herding cows I guess. My perception of cowboys and what they actually do is a little eschewed due to Stephen King’s The Gunslinger, but I digress.

Surfing was still unknown in Malibu at the time, as Tom Blake wouldn’t surf Corona del Mar until 1928. To the South of Malibu, Huntington Beach also looked a little different, as evidenced by the photo below:

Huntington Beach in the early 1900s

Huntington Beach in the early 1900s

So the next time you’re surfing Surfrider during a busy summer swell, just imagine what the line up must’ve looked like when it was part of the 17,000 acre-Rancho Malibu — absolutely empty and perfect. Makes inventing a time machine seem pretty reasonable, right?

*That’s no moon, that’s a space station. Ha-ha…

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Fall: Pumpkins, Candy and Waves Galore

Fall is here in So Cal, which means the summertime crowds are finally abating, the water is beginning to get colder (i.e. the temp has gone from mildly chilly to I-can’t-feel-my-extremities freezing) and the North Pacific is finally starting to toss a few storms are way.

Last weekend we had a nice run of surf, and Surfline summed up the general awesomeness of that particular swell with a detailed photo essay. Personal favorite is this one of South African Chad Du Toit at Lowers:

Chad Du Toit at Lowers

Chad Du Toit at Lowers

Anyway, here’s the link to the rest of the essay. Enjoy!

Fall surf in So Cal on Surfline.com/

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Surf & Skate

Surf & Skate Evolution

Surf & Skate Evolution

Work, work, work… Well, that’s my excuse for not posting anything for a good four months. But, I have a bit more free time now, so I promise that I’ll be a good boy and I’ll post all sorts of fun stuff to this lonely ill’ blog.

Starting with this piece:

Surf & Skate

Skateboarding is surfing’s little brother, and this feature from Surfline points out the unique similarities in the sports’ respective evolutions (but we all knew that didn’t we?). Anyway, this particular piece discuses the rise of the “new school” in the early 90s, and how it gave birth to the current trend of slapping gravity in the face with a mixture of extreme/bone-breaking aerial tricks. Eventually, that line between skate and surf tricks will be completely blurred, and that day may be coming soon.

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